


What Am I to You?

by MapleLeafLover



Series: CanAme/AmeCan [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Brothers America & Canada (Hetalia), Flirting, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Romantic Fluff, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 20:25:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18431465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MapleLeafLover/pseuds/MapleLeafLover
Summary: Matthew Williams, the personification of Canada, has fallen in love with his twin - Alfred F. Jones, the personification of the United States of America.





	What Am I to You?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever CanAme fic, so hopefully it all goes well. (This is actually my first fanfiction ever, so hopefully it doesn't suck. Lol)
> 
> Warning: This fanfiction includes incest, malexmale relations, and swearing/cussing. If you do not like the idea of any of these items, please leave politely. Also, there is a tiny bit of angst, so be ready for that. (There's a little bit of sexual intentions at the end, which will also be a written first for me. ;D)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do NOT own Hetalia.

Matthew Williams, the personification of Canada, had fallen in love with the one and only Alfred F. Jones, the personification of the United States of America. He couldn't believe it. He had fallen for the loud, obnoxious, hero-loving, overly energetic America. His heart fluttered at the very thought of his blue-eyed look-alike.

He loved everything about his twin brother.

He loved the velvety peach skin that shined in the sun's light. The very light freckles that would glow on his cheeks when the light hit them just right. The muscles that would pull underneath the skin when the American would gesture his body to match his tone of voice.

He loved those blue eyes that reminded him of clear sunny skies, of the soft waves that hit the sand gently on warm beaches, how they filled with excitement and stars at the mere mention of heroes and adventure.

The blond locks that would flow gently in the wind and the cute little cowlick that bounced up and down when the American talked of something with an adored admiration.

The smile that always seemed to out shine the sun even on its brightest day.

And that laugh!  _Oh God!_ How he loved that laugh! It was a sweet melody that filled his body with happiness and joy just at the simple sound of it! The way it sang with wonder and pride! The way it boomed with love and optimism at the most random of times! It consumed his every waking moment just at hearing the lullaby that would sound from the American anytime he made that wonderful, beautiful musical harmony!

He had fallen for his twin brother. He had fallen **hard**.

Canada had only made an attempt once to gain the attention and affection of his brother. He hasn't tried again since then. He had known the feeling of being neglected and mistaken for his twin brother was heart wrenching, yet this feeling was so much worse. How could he possibly have believed America would love him the same when he was literally invisible to and forgotten by pretty much every other nation? How could he have been so  **stupid** to believe that America would love his own brother in such a fashion?! How could he have done such a thing to make what little of the relationship they had be consumed in a spout of fire, burning it to ash and soot?!

  
_**A Few Months Ago** _

  
Canada stood in front of America's house, giving the door a few good knocks. He held in his hands a package from McDonald's and a cup holder with two large milkshakes. Nothing of either item were his. He decided that maybe getting his brother a little gift would help him smooth the rough edges of his planned confession to his southern neighbor. He sighed. He was really nervous about this, as his shaking figure could clearly indicate.

The door suddenly opened with a loud  _swoosh_. Canada was met face to face with his twin and a question all too familiar within his life, "Who are you?"

The Canadian sighed sadly, "I'm Canada. Y-Your brother? Matthew?" His brother gave him a few looks up and down before recognition hit his eyes.

"Oh, hey Mattie! How are you doing, bro? Whatcha doing here?" He then eyed the bag in Canada's hands, "Dude! You got McDonald's?!" Canada smiled softly at the look in his brother's eyes. His eyes were always so pretty when they lit up like that. He looked at the items in his own hands and back at his brother with a slight tint of pink on his cheeks.

"O-Oui. I was coming by to visit, when I-I thought that you m-might like some l-lunch." He held the items out to his twin, who grabbed them instantly.

"Thanks, bro! You're the best!" He grabbed Canada's wrist - to which the violet-eyed male blushed profusely over - with the hand that also occupied the folds of the McDonald's bag, dragging him inside. He closed the door shut and ran into the kitchen, setting the items on the table, "So what brought you down here from up North?" Canada stood in the doorway of the kitchen, sweat trailing down his face and neck as he gulped nervously whilst twiddling his thumbs. America chewed on a cheeseburger as he watched his older brother mess with his fingers.

"U-Uh… W-Well… I… I wanted- that is… I w-wanted to t-tell y-you something i-i-important." Canada felt like his heart was beating a thousand miles a minute. His chest rose and fell in a bit of a frightened state, "I-I… U-Um-!" He looked up from his thumbs, and his heart nearly stopped at what he saw.  
The light from the window hit America's face just right to show off the the sharp curves of his features, making those small freckles shine. His eyes shone with a brightness from beyond the irises in them. The ahoge on top of his blond hair swayed back and forth ever so slightly.

America watched quietly for a moment before swallowing his burger and clearing his throat, "What is so important to tell me, bro?" Canada made a small  _eep!_ as he made a sudden jump at the question and cleared his throat.

"B-Bien. Um… Well, I- Well, I just w-wanted to tell y-you that... I…" He took a deep breath. He just had to come out and say it. Just say it!  _Say it!_ **Say it!** "J-Je t'aime, Alfred!"

America laughed loudly, "I love you too, bro!" He slurped at the milkshake in his other hand, "Why are you so nervous to say it?" He bit another burger in half, chewing greedily. His cheeks bulged out a bit at the intrusion of food, ketchup and mustard sitting slightly on his lips. Canada felt like his heart could stop at the cute display in front of him.

"I-I mean-! At least-! … Not in a f-fraternal way." Canada paused as his face flushed bright red. He looked at his brother, eyes filled with fear and uncertainty. America looked right back. The southern nation frowned a bit and his brow furrowed.

"Matthew. Do you mean… you love me like… more than a brother? Like… in a romantic way?" America questioned his brother. Blue eyes were filled with shock at his brother's confession of love for him. Canada gulped the cold, hard lump in his throat.

"O-Oui." He placed his hands over his chest in order to calm the booming heart that beat in fear beneath his ribcage.

America brows furrowed farther, "Dude. I don't- I don't… haven't ever really... liked you… in…  **that** way." Canada watched America swallow his food with difficulty. "We're brothers, and that's all I've ever seen us as for a long time now."

There it was. The rejection that Canada had feared. His nightmare was coming true.  
Canada's heart stopped and his face paled, but he refused to let his brother see him cry. "I-I see. W-Well… alright then. I-I will be t-taking my leave now. H-Have a good day, A-America." With those last few words, he took the keys from his pocket and left in a hurry. He left America's house and closed the door quietly before rushing to his car. No mess in his stride as he quickly opened his car door, closing it behind him as he started the ignition. He drove back down the driveway and made it to the end of the driveway before looking into his rearview mirror.

America was looking at him through the doorway of the front door. His face showing no emotion as he watched Canada leave.  
Canada felt his heart throb in despair. He decided not to look back once his eyes were back on the road. Canada still refused to cry as he knew the tears would cause a distraction for himself on the road, which could cause a fatal crash if he wasn't careful.  
When the blond made it home, he quickly made his way into the house and closed the front door with trembling hands. He looked to his living room, finding his bear - Kumajiro - sleeping soundly on the loveseat. He smiled sadly, making a reminder to himself to make pancakes for his only friend later on. He began to climb the stairs to his room and had barely made it to the top, before his eyes began to sting. He ran to his bedroom, landing face first on the bed. He laid there silently, his head buried in his pillows.  
It wasn't long before the tears flowed. He wailed and sobbed at the feeling of the broken heart that weighed in his chest so heavily. His cries were filled with the sad melody of longing and heartache.

 

**_Back to the Present_ **

 

Canada had avoided his brother since then. He made sure that during meetings, he would sit on the opposite side of where America was sitting. He made sure to be the last to arrive and the first to leave. He made sure that their paths never crossed when they went about to get food or use the bathroom. When they weren't at meetings, Canada stayed inside his house. He would ever only leave to go get food and supplies from the store before returning right back home.  
He spent these months alone with his bear, Kumajiro. They ate breakfast, watched TV, had lunch, sat around and played games, had dinner, and went to bed. Everyday was the same. He felt tired and numb with the pain of his broken heart pulling him down.

Until today when a knock sounded at his door.

Canada was sitting on his couch, Kumajiro in his arms as they watched a movie he had found just lying around. He looked towards the door before sighing and setting the polar bear down. He forced himself to stand and walked to the door, opening it slightly to see who was on the other side. His eyes widened with shock and anxiety when he saw who it was.

"Hey, bro. How's it going?" America stood at his door, an American flag scarf around his neck and his bomber jacket zipped up tight as the frigid morning air caused his breaths to puff out in little clouds. In his arms he had a bag from Tim Hortons in one hand and two cups of coffee in a cup holder in the other one. Canada looked back up to America's eyes. They still glowed that beautiful blue he absolutely fell for. The sight of them made his heart swell and crush itself at the same time.

"A-America?"

"I think we should talk." The American shifted his feet slightly as he looked down at the porch and then back up at Canada. Of course, he didn't let the northern nation speak and walked right past him. Before the violet-eyed blond could protest the intrusion, his twin set the bag on the table in the dining room and taking a seat in one of the cushioned wooden chairs. He pulled out some donuts from the bag, instantly munching on one as soon as he got one in his hands. He looked back towards his twin, grinning that million dollar smile of his. "Sit down and eat. I got your coffee just how you like it." He took his own cup labeled with 'Alfred', sipping the hot liquid before eating another donut from the bag. "There's also some maple donuts that I know you've always enjoyed."

Canada continued to stare at his brother with wide eyes before gulping loudly and closing the door. He sat down at the table afterwards, taking the coffee that his brother had gotten him. He took a small sip. He sighed happily at the warmth that spread into his body. "M-Merci."

"No problem, dude!" He downed more of the hot liquid before setting the cup down and folding his hands onto the table. "Now, about a few months ago-!"

Canada instantly cut him off with a sigh and a raised hand for signaling for silence, "America, please. I know it was a mistake and I know that you don't like me that way. We don't need to talk about it. Please." His eyes were beginning to water at just the thought of the rejection he had bared all those months ago. It made his heart ache and moan sadly at the memory.

"That's just the thing! You didn't let me finish!" America stood up, his hands slammed onto the table. "You ran away before I could finish saying what I wanted to say!" Canada jumped at the  _bang_ of America's hands on the table and gazed up to that familiar face which held a look in his eyes. A look that basically waved determination and, for only a second, a flicker of sadness. He blinked at that, a little bit in wonder but not being surprised by his twin's outburst.

"W-Well… I just assumed that-"

"That's right! You assumed! You assumed that I was rejecting you! You assumed that I never wanted to see you again after you left!" Canada watched as the American's shoulders trembled slightly and fingers gripped at the table. "You assumed that it would be best to ignore me and avoid me! You assumed that I didn't love you back!" Canada moved his sight back to his brother's face and was downright shocked when he saw just what he had least expected. Tears pricked at the sides of the blue eyes he so loved. The salty water let go of the eyelids and slid down the tanned peach skin. The nose scrunched up a little at the sound of a sniffle. "Did you really think that… I would just push you away because of some confession?"

Canada was caught and froze at the words that left his brother's mouth. He instantly spoke up, anxiety and concern at the edge of his tone. "P-Pas du tout! I-I mean-! I just-! I thought that… that you h-hated me! Th-That y-you wouldn't have wanted to see me a-again after that, b-because you w-would have been-! Y-You were grossed out that-! That your twin l-loved you! Y-Your own b-b-brother!" He was at this point standing next to his brother, tears slipping down his own cheeks and hands trembling as they held onto the hem of his crimson shirt.

He watched as his brother turned to him. The American's voice was filled with sadness and love. "Why would I ever hate you? You're my brother. Always have been, always will be. I could never, EVER hate you." Strong arms wrapped around the Canadian as his twin moved towards him, pressing their bodies close together. "When you said you loved me back there, I... I was so happy. I didn't know what to say. I just... I had only seen us as brothers until a few years ago when I… It was my birthday…"

 

  
_**A Few Years Ago** _

 

It was a few years back. It was July 4th. America's birthday party was going fan-FUCKING-tastic. The mansion of said nation reeked of alcohol, firework chemicals, and American BBQ. American patriotic music rang loud throughout the house. All the nations invited were partying like there was no tomorrow. All except two.  
America was sitting up on a hill near the house, watching the fireworks above. He was sitting in a comfortable silence. With the music low in the background and the diminished shouts of drunken nations, America was groaning just thinking about the mess he would have to clean tomorrow. But it had all been worth it. The party was a blast and every nation was having fun. He decided that he would spend the rest of the night sitting on the hill until the nations in his home would leave. They would all most likely be gone after 12 AM or so. He had his fun with everyone and wanted to spend the rest of the night feeling the great patriotic spirit of his citizens as they partied and celebrated his birthday and independence.

 _'What are you doing up here all by your lonesome?'_ America whipped his head around to find his older brother, Canada, softly smiling down a him. America grinned as they used their telepathic twin powers, which had been, and still was, undiscovered by the other nations.

 _'Nothing much. Just watching the light show before the night comes to a close.'_ He patted the grass next to him, motioning for Canada to sit next to him. His brother happily complied, plopping himself down next to the American. As soon as he planted his butt on the ground, America leaned against his twin and placed his head on the northern nation's shoulder. The tensing up of the older twin went unnoticed by his counterpart. _'What are you doing up here? Aren't you gonna enjoy the party?'_ A chuckle sounded from deep within Canada's throat.

 _'It isn't exactly a party without the host, AKA the birthday boy, there, you know?'_ He laid his head against his twin's. America sighed silently and enjoyed the warmth his brother provided.

 _'Yeah, I know. Just wanted to get away from the noise for a bit, I guess.'_ They turned back to the night sky filled with exploding lights. They sat like that for a good hour or so. It felt... good. Being so close to one another like that. Like it was meant to happen. Like this was what fate had in store for them for the rest of their lives. It always felt like that. Even when they were still just little chibis and growing colonies. When they are this close, touching each other and just being in the other's presence, it always feels... right. America had decided to look from the sky back to his twin after a while, looking up into the familiar face of his northern counterpart.

It was in this moment that America noticed something. When did his twin get so… beautiful? He watched as the colored lights of the fireworks above them shined down on Canada's face. The lights made the color of the cold nation's eyes pop out against his strawberry blonde hair and pale skin. America felt a little heat rush to his cheeks. He continued to stare at the nation's face, before violet eyes were staring back. _Oh God_. He could see a few tinges of blue and green tones amongst the violet. It reminded him of Aurora Borealis, the northern lights. Though these eyes were much more beautiful. … And were those maple leaves lightly scattered throughout the mixed palette? Canada surely was obsessed with his maple stuff. So much that he was evidently getting it stuck to his body's physique. He snickered quietly at the thought.

 _'…ed? …fred? … Alfred?'_ America blinked frantically before focusing back on his twin's face.

 _'Yeah? What's up?'_ The Canadian let out a sigh that was mixed with a laugh, a smile on his lips and pink on his cheeks.

 _'I was asking if you were alright. Are you? You kept staring at me and not answering.'_ America's cheeks flushed a bit darker and he felt his heart speed up some. He quickly nodded his head and turned his head back to the sky.

 _'I'm fine. My mind was just in the clouds. Thinking about how much the house is gonna be a pain in the ass to clean tomorrow.'_ He heard his northern neighbor laugh quietly in his mind.

 _'I see. Well… You know, I could always stay another night or two, if you would like? I could help you clean up the désastre.'_ America's snapped back towards his twin, eyes hopeful and excited.

 _'Really?!'_ The violet-eyed nation chuckled quietly again.

 _'Oui. I wouldn't want to leave mon frère hanging, now would I?'_  He flashed a grin to his southern counterpart. America grinned bright and latched his arms around his brother, hugging him tight.

 _'Thank you so much, bro! You don't know how happy that makes me!'_ Canada happily returned the hug, snickering.

 _'By the way, one of the European nations smashed your table. Also, I'm pretty sure France, Prussia, and Spain got into your liquor cabinet for some_ extra fun _.'_

"… Fuck." They burst into laughter. The two spent the rest of the night watching the other nations disassemble from America's home to go back to their own native homelands. The two of them rested in America's bedroom, with America insisting on them sharing a bed. Canada had protested at first, but eventually complied after seeing America's cute puppy face. They cuddled next to each other on the bed, holding hands. America kept his eyes fixated on his brother's sleeping face for a while, pulling back a few long strands of strawberry blonde hair from in front of his face and placing them behind his ear. Blue eyes settled on soft, pale lips. He felt the urge to press his own against them, but quickly fought them back. He settled his head on Canada's chest and closed his eyes, falling into a sweet dream of him and Canada as children, playing in the fields of way back then. A faint dust of pink littering his cheeks as he slept soundly, letting his dream carry his mind away.

 

  
_**Back to the Present** _

 

Canada was shocked that America could remember him from such a busy night that happened all those years ago. He was cut from his thoughts when America yelled at him, still hugging their bodies close in a tight hold.

"Ever since then, I've been slowly falling in love with you! You're so cute and sexy at the same time! You're so kind to others and yet you get so fierce and angry at others. Especially during hockey." A small laugh left the lips of the blue-eyed nation. "You make the best damn food I've ever eaten and you can be super funny sometimes! You've got a sexy-ass body and your eyes are fucking beautiful! You're fucking GORGEOUS!!" To say Canada was flushed with embarrassment at the compliments thrown his way… would be a complete understatement. He was  **drowning** in a never ending  **flood** of embarrassment as his body turned as red as the maple leaf of his nation's flag. "I love you, Matthew! I always have and I'm not going to stop loving you! Ever!" Canada was frozen stiff at the touch of their bodies pressing together and the shock of affection being placed upon him (AKA, slamming him into the ground). Yet… his arms moved instinctually around his brother and hugged him with a strong embrace.

"I-I love you too, Alfred!" They stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding each other close. The warmth their bodies shared was nice and inviting. It felt right. To hold one another like that. It felt… like it was meant to be. It felt similar to that night of July 4th all those years ago, to those times when they cuddled next to each other as colonies, to those times where they had the rare occasion of meeting up and having fun with stunts and traveling after being away from each other for so long.

They pulled away from each other, starting into the other's eyes. Violet-blue eyes staring into bright blue ones. Both filled with love and joy. They pressed their foreheads together as they breathed onto the other's face. The scent of coffee and sugar laced on their breath.

They embraced one another for a little while longer before the younger nation made a move. He placed a gentle kiss onto his twin's lips. Canada's lips were soft and plump. America's own were a bit chapped from the cold winds outside, but still soft in a way that they melted perfectly onto his brother's mouth.

They let their lips part and tongues mingle. They mapped each other's mouths with gentle but rough exploration. Their saliva being mixed with the taste of caffeine and icing. Then came the fight for dominance. Their tongues pushed at each other, fighting and wrestling the other for the title. America was clearly winning as he began to shove his brother's tongue up against his palette. That was until he was met with an unexpected turn. Canada forced his twin's tongue to the floor of the moist cavern and claimed the younger nation's mouth as his own. He made sure to taste every single bit of his brother's mouth, making it his. He grabbed at America's hair, pulling him closer as he roughened the attack on his brother's mouth. The older nation's other hand slid down and grabbed at the firm, pert butt of the American.

America moaned quietly as the older of the two bit onto his lip, chewing it softly. "M-Mattie~" He ground their hips together, causing both of them to gasp softly. The bulges in their pants were suddenly taken notice of. They looked down at their clothed erections and then back up at each other, lust hazing their eyes and their faces flushed with heat. America pressed them closer together, small pants escaping his lips that were now red and swollen. "M-Mattie! P-Please~ More!" Canada licked at his brother's jawline and nipped it gently before grabbing his twin's hand in a soft grasp, pulling him towards the stairs.

"Allons-y dans ma chambre~"

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Please, tell me how you felt about it in the comments!  
> And please, let me know if I made any spelling and/or grammar mistakes. Thank you!
> 
> French Translations:  
> 1\. Je t'aime = I love you  
> 2\. Merci = Thank you  
> 3\. Pas du tout = Of course not  
> 4\. Désastre = Disaster  
> 5\. Mon frère = My brother  
> 6\. Allons-y dans ma chambre = Let's go to my room
> 
> (French speakers, please let me know if there is a problem with my translations. Merci!)


End file.
